"Falling to Pieces"

I'm lost.  I don't understand.  I'm so sad.  I try to act okay and I feel that I do a pretty good job.  But the fact of that is... I'm not.  My best friend is gone.  And I'm lost.  I know that I need to keep it together and be strong for my family, for my baby.  She needs me.  But I find myself not giving her the attention she deserves right now.  And that makes me feel even worse.

 I don't really remember what happens most days.  I've been in my own little world since Christmas night.  I seem to do okay at work but after the day is over I couldn't tell you what happened.  I have a really hard time falling asleep now.  All I can do is think about her and what she must have been going through.  Especially that night.  I look at my family picture that I was so happy to take on Christmas Eve and now it just makes me sad.  I was so happy that night while my best friend was in a kind of pain that I'll never know.  I should've been there for her.  I should've known.

I keep everything inside.  I've never been one to really let my emotions out.  But I'm afraid if I don't do something I'll explode.  This kind of hurt I just can't keep in anymore.

I was lucky enough to be able to get some things from her room.  I took some jewelry and clothes and a few other things.  I now have a necklace and a ring that I will never ever take off.  She was an amazing person.  I will always remember her and talk about her often.  This necklace and ring is a way I can always have a piece of her with me.

I've never cried listening to a song before but I heard one today and I just broke down.  It seemed to be just perfect for how I am feeling.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, 

Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in, 

'Coz I got time while she got freedom, 

'Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break even. 

Her best days will be some of my worst, 

She finally met a man that's gonna put her first,

 While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping,

 'Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no. 

 

What am I supposed to do 

when the best part of me was always you 

What am I supposed to say 

when I'm all choked up and you're ok 

I'm falling to pieces 

I'm falling to pieces 

 

They say bad things happen for a reason

 But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding 

'Coz she's moved on while I'm still grieving 

And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no. 

 

What am I gonna do 

when the best part of me was always you

 What am I supposed to say 

when I'm all choked up and you're ok

 I'm falling to pieces, yeah 

I'm falling to pieces, yeah

 I'm falling to pieces

(One still in love while the other one's leaving)

 I'm falling to pieces,  

(Cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even) 

 

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain, 

You took your suitcase, I took the blame.

 Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh. 

'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

 

 I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing, 

Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in, 

'Coz I got time while she got freedom,

 'Coz when a heart breaks no it don't break, 

no it don't break, 

no it don't break even no. 

 

What am I gonna do

when the best part of me was always you 

What am I supposed to say

when I'm all choked up and you're ok

 I'm falling to pieces, yeah

 I'm falling to pieces, yeah

 I'm falling to pieces, 

 (One still in love while the other one's leaving)

 I'm falling to pieces,

(Cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

 Oh, it don't break even, noOh, 

it don't break even, noOh,

It don't break even, no