I feel like a bad person. I still haven't gone to see Jill at her grave. I just can't. I have the option to see Chloee pretty much when ever I want. But I can't do that either.
You're probably just afraid the hurt will get worse. It probably won't, and you'll feel better once you go see them both. Hurry it up with Chloee, though - her life is changing fast!
I wish I had something profound to offer. I will say that I think you are a great person who tries hard to do the right things for yourself and your family. I can't imagine that Jill would have it any different. I would imagine she understands your feelings perfectly and is completely non-judgmental. I think that you will know when the time is right for you. And Chloee might not be here for too much longer, she'll always be accessible : ) It's hard to gauge one's own grief and we are so much harder on ourselves than we need to be, but you loved Jill, Jill loved you, and I don't believe that ends when one dies. I hope you'll find some peace and that it comes sooner for you than later.
You're probably just afraid the hurt will get worse. It probably won't, and you'll feel better once you go see them both. Hurry it up with Chloee, though - her life is changing fast!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had something profound to offer. I will say that I think you are a great person who tries hard to do the right things for yourself and your family. I can't imagine that Jill would have it any different. I would imagine she understands your feelings perfectly and is completely non-judgmental. I think that you will know when the time is right for you. And Chloee might not be here for too much longer, she'll always be accessible : )
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to gauge one's own grief and we are so much harder on ourselves than we need to be, but you loved Jill, Jill loved you, and I don't believe that ends when one dies. I hope you'll find some peace and that it comes sooner for you than later.